The Lousy Husbands

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Lousy Husbands T-Shirt - S, M, L, XL, XXL, XXXL

Be a proud Lousy Husband with the official Lousy Husbands T-Shirt.  Let the world know who wears the pants in your relationship.

Lousy Husbands "Yes Dear" T-Shirt - S, M, L, XL, XXL, XXXL

Wear those two words proudly that every woman hates to hear with the Lousy Husbands "Yes Dear" T-Shirt.  Now you no longer have to utter that classic response to everything the little woman in your life has to say.  

Lousy Husbands Trucker Hat - S, M, L, XL, XXL, XXL

Feeling the lure of the open road?  Want the power of 650 horses under the cab hauling 85,000 lbs down the Interstate?  Well, we can't promise you a decked out semi with a sleeper cab for two, but with the Lousy Husbands Trucker Hat, you'll feel like the "King of the Road" the moment you put it on.  

Lousy Husband Beer Mug

Dude, drink that cold one in style with the Lousy Husbands Beer Mug.  Beer never tasted sooo good!  So, sit back in that La-Z-Boy, grab the remote, and have another, and another, and another...

Lousy Husbands Beer Koozie

Need to keep that cold one "cold"?  No problem, Dude.  Just wrap that can in a Lousy Husbands Beer Koozie and you'll be tasting that ice-cold goodness for, oh, about 10 seconds.  Then it's time for another, and another... As Frank "The Tank" says - "It's so good, once it hits your lips, it's so good..." 

Lousy Husbands Egg Shaker - Black

Join The Lousy Husbands band even if you don't have a musical bone in your body with the Lousy Husbands Egg Shaker.  So, put down the remote, shift that beer to the other hand and play along with the music of the Lousy Husbands.

Lousy Husbands Fresh Urine Sample - Guaranteed Drug Free

That upcoming corporate drug test got you down?  Dude, we've got you covered.  Lousy Husbands brand "clean" urine is guaranteed to get you a clean bill of health.  Drained from orphaned Guatemalan kids, this stuff is as pure as it gets.  So kick back and relax.  Smoke 'em if you got 'em.  Drink all you want, because with Lousy Husbands brand Fresh Urine, you know you're gunna be pissing clean all day.

Lousy Husbands, LLC is not responsible for loss of employment while using this product.  (Yea, our lawyers made us add this.)

  

Lousy Husbands Wooden Egg Shaker - Wooden

The Lousy Husbands Egg Shaker is also available in a classic wooden version.  Play along in class with the music of the Lousy Husbands.

Lousy Husbands "Duck" Tape

Nagging wife problems?  Maybe she's getting a little too vocal about the number of beers you consume on a daily basis?  Perhaps she doesn't approve of the other lousy husbands you hang out with down at the corner bar?  No worries, Dude.  We have a fix for that.  Lousy Husbands "Duck" Tape.  This stuff is made from the finest industrial strength materials available today.  Our specially designed rubber-based pressure sensitive adhesive is covered in a durable fabric mesh, then heat-sealed in high-grade polyethelyne.  This stuff is guaranteed to keep her (and your mother-in-law) quiet for days.  Use with care, because when she's finally able to rip this stuff over her face, watch out!  This shit's called "duck" tape for a reason.

Lousy Husbands, LLC is not responsible for injury, damage, or death incurred while use this product, or the sudden "wax" job that may occur when this shit is ripped off your skin.  (Yea, our lawyers made us add this too.)

Lousy Husbands Hard Hat - Sizes: XS, S, M, L, XL, XXL, XXXL, XXXXL, XXXXXL

Hard day at the office?  Harder day coming home to the "Little Lady"?  No worries Dude.  The Lousy Husbands Hard Hat is here to save whatever brain cells the booze hasn't killed.  This little baby is constructed completely from wurtzite boron nitride.  Dude, that's the world’s hardest man-made nano-material available.  You know what I'm say'in?  They use this shit for industrial drillers.  We're talk'in harder than diamonds.  

So when that wife of yours decides to beat you with a skillet for coming home at 4:00am, or for that obscure charge of $700 on May 25th... yea, you know what I'm talk'in bout... or your Ex decides she needs another $2000 a month to "keep her in the lifestyle she's become accustomed too", then Brother, this Hat's for you.

Lousy Husbands, LLC is not responsible for injury, damage, or death incurred while wearing The Lousy Husbands Hard Hat. (Yea, lawyers made us add this.)