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Lousy Husbands "Duck" Tape

Nagging wife problems?  Maybe she's getting a little too vocal about the number of beers you consume on a daily basis?  Perhaps she doesn't approve of the other lousy husbands you hang out with down at the corner bar?  No worries, Dude.  We have a fix for that.  Lousy Husbands "Duck" Tape.  This stuff is made from the finest industrial strength materials available today.  Our specially designed rubber-based pressure sensitive adhesive is covered in a durable fabric mesh, then heat-sealed in high-grade polyethelyne.  This stuff is guaranteed to keep her (and your mother-in-law) quiet for days.  Use with care, because when she's finally able to rip this stuff over her face, watch out!  This shit's called "duck" tape for a reason.

Lousy Husbands, LLC is not responsible for injury, damage, or death incurred while use this product, or the sudden "wax" job that may occur when this shit is ripped off your skin.  (Yea, our lawyers made us add this too.)